So, I’ve had self-imposed sleep issues with each of my kids. The self-imposed part simply means that instead of doing what I KNOW how to do and nipping in the bud all bad sleep habits, I am lazy. I want to go have my ME-TIME (i.e., watching DVR’d shows and eating popcorn ALONE) and so instead of just sticking with a sleep-training plan for 4-5 nights knowing all problems will probably be solved (though those nights would be hellish), I don’t. Instead I do whatever FEELS at the moment to be the fastest way to get them to sleep. Currently it is sitting on her bed. Rubbing her back. Putting on music. Laying down with her. Whatever I think will work fastest.
Of course, it’s never fast. Always takes at least 30 minutes and I’m usually mad by the time I finally leave her room.
It’s ridiculous really. I was one of the few people I knew who never breastfed my kids to sleep. I fed them when they first woke up and then swaddled them and put them down to sleep (which meant we could actually go on a date now and then cuz someone else could successfully put them to sleep). However, the moment they could stand (Jake & Quinn) and the moment they moved to a big kid bed (Kira), the nightmare began.
With Jake & Quinn, whose difficulties were with being mobile in their cribs, I FINALLY used the Baby Whisperer’s Pick Up Put Down method, which worked like a charm after 4-5 nights.
Kira was a GREAT sleeper, even once she could stand. I’d put her in her crib, I’d walk out, she’d fall asleep.
And then the big girl bed.
Sigh.
I’m so embarrassed that we are going on 10 months of this now. I can use the excuse that we spent all summer traveling and then Brent (and the ensuing adjustment period) returned from deployment, but even if I do that, we’ve still been dealing with this for a good four months. Too long.
So, tonight it begins.
My friend, Evonne, gave me a sleep book the other night and luckily I only needed to read about one chapter of it (towards the end of the book where he finally gets to older kids) to get his recommendations for preschooler sleep problems (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth). It’s a pretty simple concept that starts with making a sign together that lists the four “Sleep Rules” and then discussing before bedtime what is going to happen. Namely, that she needs to follow the rules. If she does not, I will pick her up without talking to or looking at her and will put her back in bed. I will do this over and over and over and over again. Until she follows the rules.
And the kicker is, I will do this in the middle of the night as well. This is where it gets really tough for me because I’m great at having self-control and sticking to a plan (once I set my mind on it) while I’m alert. Doing so while in the twilight world of sleep is another thing. Firstly, I like being warm in bed and don’t WANT to get up and put her back to bed. Secondly, it’s just so EASY not to move. Thirdly, I don’t even remember half the time letting her in bed.
But, if she follows the rules, she will get a treat in the morning and a dollar (fake money that I’ve just started using on our 143,598,389th attempt at having a successful chore plan).
While we were talking about it mid-rule-poster-making, she got very upset and cried until she heard the word TREAT and suddenly the tears stopped and a smile appeared. What a little manipulator.
So wish me luck.
UPDATE:
Night 1 – She screamed and yelled for me and DAAAAAD (like the pissed off, I am NOT getting my way and I DON’T like it kind of yelling) for about 45 minutes. During that time, I took her back to bed (no eye contact, no speaking) five times. She then stopped and went to sleep. At 12:45pm she woke crying and came into our room. I took her back to her room. She made sniffling noises for about 40 more minutes and then came in a second time to BRENT’S side of the bed. I took her back to her room. She slept til 6:45am. Woke to MUCH praise.
Night 2 — She cried (not as pissed off) for about 15 minutes. Did not come out of her room. She then slept ALLLL NIGHT!
Night 3 — She yelled (pissed) for about 5 minutes. Did not come out of her room. Woke at 1am and cried for a few minutes, but didn’t come into our room. Slept the rest of the night.
Haven’t LOVED the experience. However, the fact that I was sitting on the couch alone in a quiet house at 8:15pm last night has got to be worth BOATLOADS of gold and happiness. 🙂
Can’t wait to hear tomorrow’s story! 🙂 Will she stay in bed? Will you wake up with her in yours? Tune in tomorrow to find out!
Dying to know…next chapter please?? You rock…still nursing my little manipulator to sleep….
Can’t wait to read what happens next. Thankful I have not had much in the way of bed time challenges. My youngest does come to bed around 6am cause I refuse to get up until 7:30.
I am not good about chores either!